


Wake Me Up Inside (Can't Wake Up)

by thetwins1234, yourstruly_limpdickrick



Category: Howl no Ugoku Shiro | Howl's Moving Castle
Genre: Crack, Fire Sex, I'm Sorry, M/M, Pole Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 04:34:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5571391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetwins1234/pseuds/thetwins1234, https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourstruly_limpdickrick/pseuds/yourstruly_limpdickrick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calcifer and Turnip Head do the secks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wake Me Up Inside (Can't Wake Up)

**Author's Note:**

> I regret nothing.

     
  
    Calcifer had always had the _hots_ for Turnip Head. It was just something about the way that slender pole flattered that glorious turnip, that just made him feel this _burning_ sensation in his ash.  
    Turnip Head's _other_ head really loved Calcifer's magnificent heat. And he decided today was the day to make his move. He was gonna woo the flame with his splendiferously provocative bouncing.  
    Calcifer was too _heated_ to do much of anything, so he decided a good wank was in order. As he began to prod his log, he heard that sexy bounce that he knew and loved coming from outside. The door flew open, and in strutted Turnip Head.  
    Calcifer tucked his log behind him. "Oh, h-hey Turnip Head, how's it going?"  
    He was met with sexy silence that made his flames grow embarrassingly large.  
    Turnip Head swaggered closer. Calcifer burned a light pink.  
    "Um, di-did you need something?"  
    Again, Calcifer was met with a silence that left his flames slightly more engorged. Turnip Head, on the other hand, confident grin in place, reached forward with a gloved peg. Calcifer became a hot pink as he felt the silky stub press against the log he had just been stroking.  
    "H-hey, knock it off. Quit playin' around," he yelled, smacking the blunt end away.  
    Turnip Head continued to grin, pressing more insistently.  
    "Turnip, wha-" he started, but was cut off when Turnip Head decided to lean closer, his glove slipping under Calcifer's log, providing more of the _burning_ friction that Calcifer craved.  
    They continued like this for awhile, until finally Calcifer let out a cry as ash puffed up into the air. Grinning, Turnip Head pulled his glove away, and began to mount Calcifer, who was suddenly very nervous.  
    "Turnip, how are we gonna, you know...." he trailed off, making a thrusting motion.  
    Turnip grinned.  
    "What-" Calcifer tried to argue, but was instead assaulted by a deep pain in his ash.  
    "Turnip, what.... YOU COULDN'T HAVE WAITED!" Calcifer shouted angrily.  
    Turnip grinned.  
    His pole began to move, and Calcifer let out a hiss, enjoying the way the peg bounced in his ashes, crying out as his charcoal was hit repeatedly by the long, dulled end of Turnip's pole.  
    All too soon, Calcifer began to feel a _firey_ feeling in the pit of the furnace he resided in.  
    "Turnip, I'm gonna-" Calcifer was cut off as an even bigger ash cloud than before poofed out in front of him. Turnip let out a silent cry, still grinning, roots sprouting out of his peg and dropping onto Calcifer's charcoal.  
    Calcifer's pants filled the room as Turnip bounced out of his ash. "Turnip that was-" Turnip placed a floppy glove over his mouth. Calcifer stared into his beady eyes, and even though all Turnip did was grin at him, he understood it was a grin of love.  
    Turnip removed his glove and bounced out of the door, leaving Calcifer to clean up the stain the ash cloud had left on the wall before Sophie came home.  
    

**Author's Note:**

> I regret everything.


End file.
